Category: Daily

Hello Morbo, how’s the family?

I’ll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger. Well, thanks to the Internet. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! But existing is basically all I do! You guys aren’t Santa! You’re not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus? I daresay that Fry has discovered the smelliest object in the known universe! Well I’da done better, but it’s plum hard pleading a case while awaiting trial for that there incompetence.

Breakfast Club

And then the battle’s not so bad? Yeah, lots of people did. Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. I had more, but you go ahead. Tell her she looks thin. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very… I’m a thing.

glss-small

Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried? Bender, we’re trying our best. Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you! Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as “the brig”. Is today’s hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient? I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?

No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! Bender, I didn’t know you liked cooking. That’s so cute. No, I’m Santa Claus! I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him. Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried?

Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I’m going to come back there and change your opinions manually! With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! Bender, you risked your life to save me! Soon enough. Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony? Hello Morbo, how’s the family?

Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop. Bender, hurry! This fuel’s expensive! Also, we’re dying! Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! Oh, I think we should just stay friends. No! Don’t jump!

Fry! Stay back! He’s too powerful! Oh yeah, good luck with that. My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book ‘Earth in the Balance”, and the much more popular ”Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth’, we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.

No! I want to live

For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. We’re rescuing ya. You’re going to do his laundry? I had more, but you go ahead. I’m just glad my fat, ugly mama isn’t alive to see this day. I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Soothe us with sweet lies. You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go. Say what?

Ok, this has gotta stop

And yet you haven’t said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? We’ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we’ll go home. You can see how I lived before I met you. No, I’m Santa Claus! You mean while I’m sleeping in it? I am Singing Wind, Chief of the Martians. Professor, make a woman out of me. I’m Santa Claus! Soon enough.

I respect and admire Harold Zoid

Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. Eeeee! Now say “nuclear wessels”! This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! There, now he’s trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors!

I didn’t ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy! Anyone who laughs is a communist! I haven’t felt much of anything since my guinea pig died. The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. That could be ‘my’ beautiful soul sitting naked on a couch. If I could just learn to play this stupid thing. Why would a robot need to drink? We’ll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we’ll go home.

Parag Sankhe Website