Category: Daily

Hello Morbo, how’s the family?

I'll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger. Well, thanks to the Internet. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? Ah, the 'Breakfast Club' soundtrack! I…

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Breakfast Club

And then the battle's not so bad? Yeah, lots of people did. Oh, I don't have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait…

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No! I want to live

For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. We're rescuing ya. You're going to do his laundry? I had more, but you go ahead. I'm just glad my fat, ugly mama…

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Ok, this has gotta stop

And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? We'll go deliver this crate like professionals, and then we'll go home. You can see how I lived before I met you.…

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I respect and admire Harold Zoid

Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. Eeeee! Now say "nuclear wessels"! This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! There, now he's trapped in a…

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