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Hello Morbo, how’s the family?
I’ll tell them you went down prying the wedding ring off his cold, dead finger. Well, thanks to the Internet. Is there a place on the web that panders to my lust for violence? Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! But existing is basically all […]
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Cause explosive decompression
Goodbye, cruel world. Goodbye, cruel lamp, lined with what would appear to be some sort of cruel muslin and the cute little pom-pom curtain pull cords. Cruel though they may be… And I’d do it again! And perhaps a third time! But that would be it. Okay, I like a challenge. Shut up and take my […]
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You risked your life
No, she’ll probably make me do it. You mean while I’m sleeping in it? No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers? What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! ‘It is!’ My precious torso! […]
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Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick
It must be wonderful. Maybe I love you so much I love you no matter who you are pretending to be. Now Fry, it’s been a few years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species: fatal or non-fatal? Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged. […]
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Does anybody else feel jealous?
You can crush me but you can’t crush my spirit! Oh Leela! You’re the only person I could turn to; you’re the only person who ever loved me. Fatal. Now, now. Perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything. I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Good news, everyone! I’ve taught the […]
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I respect and admire Harold Zoid
Nay, I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. Eeeee! Now say “nuclear wessels”! This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! There, now he’s trapped in a book I wrote: a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors! I didn’t ask […]