Weekend Archives - Parag Sankhe

May 26, 2016Jan 7, 2022Daily, Life

Breakfast Club

And then the battle’s not so bad? Yeah, lots of people did. Oh, I don’t have time for this. I have to go and buy a single piece of fruit with a coupon and then return it, making people wait behind me while I complain. I had more, but you go ahead. Tell her she looks thin. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Okay, it’s 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can’t hold the charge and the reception isn’t very… I’m a thing.

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Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried? Bender, we’re trying our best. Perhaps, but perhaps your civilization is merely the sewer of an even greater society above you! Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as “the brig”. Is today’s hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient? I just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating. Fry, that doesn’t make sense. WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun?

No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! Ah, the ‘Breakfast Club’ soundtrack! I can’t wait til I’m old enough to feel ways about stuff! Bender, I didn’t know you liked cooking. That’s so cute. No, I’m Santa Claus! I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him. Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. Does anybody else feel jealous and aroused and worried?

Stop! Don’t shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! Bender! Ship! Stop bickering or I’m going to come back there and change your opinions manually! With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun! Bender, you risked your life to save me! Soon enough. Good man. Nixon’s pro-war and pro-family. Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Isn’t it true that you have been paid for your testimony? Hello Morbo, how’s the family?

Why am I sticky and naked? Did I miss something fun? I decline the title of Iron Cook and accept the lesser title of Zinc Saucier, which I just made up. Uhh… also, comes with double prize money. But I know you in the future. I cleaned your poop. Bender, hurry! This fuel’s expensive! Also, we’re dying! Fry! Quit doing the right thing, you jerk! Oh, I think we should just stay friends. No! Don’t jump!

Fry! Stay back! He’s too powerful! Oh yeah, good luck with that. My fellow Earthicans, as I have explained in my book ‘Earth in the Balance”, and the much more popular ”Harry Potter and the Balance of Earth’, we need to defend our planet against pollution. Also dark wizards.

May 23, 2016Daily, Workout

No! I want to live

For one beautiful night I knew what it was like to be a grandmother. Subjugated, yet honored. We’re rescuing ya. You’re going to do his laundry? I had more, but you go ahead. I’m just glad my fat, ugly mama isn’t alive to see this day. I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. Soothe us with sweet lies. You know the worst thing about being a slave? They make you work, but they don’t pay you or let you go. Say what?

May 19, 2016Workout

We need rest

Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid. You mean it controls your actions? I find your lack of faith disturbing. The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers.

No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can’t possibly… I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the Empire, I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. It’s such a long way from here.

May 18, 2016Life, Travel

Ladies of the evening

Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that! There’s only one reasonable course of action now: kill Flexo! Switzerland is small and neutral! We are more like Germany, ambitious and misunderstood! Oh, all right, I am. But if anything happens to me, tell them I died robbing some old man. I saw you with those two “ladies of the evening” at Elzars. Explain that. We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.

Tell them I hate them. Quite possible. We live long and are celebrated poopers. One hundred dollars. OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid. Dear God, they’ll be killed on our doorstep! And there’s no trash pickup until January 3rd.